Dealing with Depression Caused by Infertility

Often, depression and infertility are in accord with each other.

“As her symptoms begin to define her, the feelings of sadness, fatigue, exhaustion, inadequacy, uncertainty and suicide permeate her day. Under the best of circumstances, even with sufficient support and excellent healthcare, this is a distressing picture,” Karen Kleiman MSW, LCSW talks about a woman who is suffering severe depression.

Though a lot of notions lean towards the realization that infertility can cause depression, you might be surprised to know that people who have undergone depressive symptoms have higher chances of experiencing fertility problems. Additionally, it might strike you to realize that those who have postpartum depression are couples who have previously struggled with conception problems.

“The researchers remind us that stress is the one consistent factor that shows an effect on how long it takes to get pregnant, of all the lifestyle factors studied to date. More surprising is that even low levels of stress can have an impact on conception,” Connie Shapiro PhD talks about the correlation of stress and fertility in respect to a study conducted by Dr. Alice Domar.

 

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Red Flags Indicating How Infertility has Seized Control of Your Life

Dealing with infertility can be daunting for affected couples. While some people have no problem with reproduction, some are having a hard time trying to make a baby.

“Although 1 in 8 couples struggle to get or stay pregnant, infertility feels rare. The more severe the case of infertility, the more unique the suffering can feel. There aren’t many people who truly appreciate the gravity of not having the eggs required to reproduce,” says Jamie Long Psyd.

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Continue reading Red Flags Indicating How Infertility has Seized Control of Your Life

PCOS Causes That You Need To Know About

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In my 25 years of existence, never have I ever pictured myself out dealing with an ovarian-related problem. My lifestyle is no different from my same-aged peers. I have a nine-to-five job that I neither love nor hate; I party and date when the opportunity arises. Of course, I also dream of becoming a mom of not one but three kids in the near future.

However, a few months back, I realized that I missed two cycles consecutively. Missing one period used not to bother me; I was told at a young age that it happens sometimes. But when a couple of months passed without menstruating, I thought, “Am I pregnant?” Multiple pregnancy test kits said ‘no,’ so what could it be?

Continue reading PCOS Causes That You Need To Know About

Signs Of PCOS That You Shouldn’t Miss

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Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormone-related issue that people hardly think about even if it’s staring at them in the face. The reason is that we all lack awareness about the existence of this illness. It does not come with painful symptoms either, which are usually the indications that push women to consult an OB-GYN. Despite that, PCOS is as real as any other disease you can think of.

“The symptoms of PCOS start when your pituitary makes too much leutinizing hormone (LH) and/or your pancreas makes too much insulin. This causes your ovaries to make more testosterone than your body needs, which helps explain the extra acne and body hair. Too much testosterone can also cause cysts in your ovaries which aren’t so much cysts as they are immature follicles which started to develop but stopped before they could release an egg,” according to Paul Joannides Psy.D.

In truth, the polycystic ovarian syndrome can be your worst nightmare, especially if all you have ever dreamed of is to become a mom. Having PCOS entails that cysts form outside of your ovaries, preventing the egg cells from getting released. Even when you are trying to conceive with your husband, the sperm cells will eventually die because they don’t have eggs to fertilize.

Considering you have not been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome but still unsure whether you have it or not, here are some signs that you should not miss.

Irregular Menstrual Cycle

The first sign of PCOS is an irregular menstrual cycle. Some women go through a month or two without getting their period while others can go as far as six months. At times, the flow is heavy, and the duration lasts up to seven days; other times, it’s a miracle to reach the third day. You cannot overlook this indication because the irregularity can lower your chances of getting pregnant in the future.

Weight Gain

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Although not all PCOS patients are either obese or overweight, most of them are. The reason is that the syndrome reduces your body’s ability to make use of insulin, the hormone to transform carbohydrates into energy. As a result, the sugars turn into fats, and your love handles will not go away regardless of how much exercising and dieting you do.

When an OB-GYN diagnoses PCOS, they usually prescribe metformin. You may have heard of this drug from people with diabetes before, but it can also be useful for women with the polycystic ovarian syndrome. Not only can metformin reduce your blood glucose, after all, but you can count on it to normalize your cycle as well.

Acne

You should have been able to get rid of your acne problem once the puberty stage is over. However, considering you still see zits on your face, back, and other body parts, it may indicate that you have PCOS.

There’s no need to be surprised if it happens. As you know, both acne and polycystic ovaries are brought about by hormonal changes. You cannot treat your pimples adequately if you have no idea about the condition that causes them to appear.

Final Thoughts

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Helena Teede MBBS, PhD, FRACP said, “Achieving and maintaining a healthy weight is key in the management of PCOS and needs engagement and support for affected women in lifestyle modification.”

Have you noticed some or all of the signs mentioned above in you? If not, it most likely means that you are safe from PCOS. If you have, however, you should go to your OB-GYN to confirm it. This way, you can see your treatment options and figure out a way to at least regularize your period or get pregnant despite having this syndrome.

Therapy is also the best resort for your mental health. “Counseling and support may help make this goal more attainable to patients with PCOS, perhaps saving them the heartbreak and expense of infertility and its treatment,” according to Joann P. Galst Ph.D.

Good luck!

Coping With Polycystic Ovary Syndrome

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People say that when life gives you lemons, you are supposed to make lemonade. It entails that you need to see the situation in a positive light, no matter what. However, can you still do the same if life gives you polycystic ovaries?

“This is a hormone imbalance that can result in irregular periods, unwanted hair growth, acne, extra weight gain, baldness, and patches of dark skin on the back of your neck and inner thighs that weren’t caused by some guy giving you a hickey,” says Paul Joannides Psy.D.

The latter is the question that I kept on asking myself after I got diagnosed with PCOS. At the time, I had not gotten my menstruation for three months straight. I was not sexually active, so it was easy to rule out pregnancy. There were no other symptoms as well aside from the lack of bleeding each month. Hence, I asked my mom to book an appointment for me with her OB-GYN.

When the doctor was already using an ultrasound, I saw little spots covering my ovaries. From what I heard, the image should be smooth if everything’s fine. Due to the new picture, though, it allowed the OB-GYN to deduce that I have the polycystic ovary syndrome.

I admit that I moped a bit after learning about my PCOS. That was especially true in the next months when I was taking pills to boost menstruation. But I knew that there was no one to blame for it except for myself.

If you want to know how to cope after finding out that you have PCOS, here’s what you can do.

Accept The Condition

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The first thing that you should do is to accept that you have polycystic ovary syndrome. There’s no denying it – the ultrasound undoubtedly says so. You may visit another OB-GYN to get the second opinion, but if the results are similar to what you have received from the first one, you have no choice but to accept the condition.

In truth, acceptance will always be the key to coping and possibly healing. You cannot do anything if you cannot cross this initial step.

Lessen Your Stressors

I am not a doctor, but I can say for sure that your lifestyle can affect your PCOS. When I got diagnosed with it, after all, I had weeks of sleepless nights. I was doing my thesis and writing full-time back then, so I did not have enough hours of rest. The situation only improved when I lessened my workload and slept a lot and ate healthily.

It will also be helpful if you can stay away from people who always stress you out. Stressors are not your best friend; they can aggravate your condition. If you want to have regular cycles, you need to let go of stressful folks in your life.

Keep An Open Mind Regarding Treatment

PCOS is technically easy to treat. Some people regularize their menstruation by exercising and eating well; others get prescribed with progesterone pills or injections. In case either will not work, though, the OB-GYN may tell you to take birth control pills for up to six months at max. I suggest staying open-minded when it comes to treatments.

“The key take home messages are that while lifestyle management is the first and most important step in the management of PCOS, addition of metformin to lifestyle modification appears to provide additional advantages in improving BMI and menstrual cyclicity in the medium term,” says Helena Teede MBBS, PhD, FRACP.

Therapy can also provide relief, mentally.

“Counseling and support may help make this goal more attainable to patients with PCOS, perhaps saving them the heartbreak and expense of infertility and its treatment,” according to Joann P. Galst Ph.D.

Final Thoughts

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Remember that polycystic ovary syndrome is a hormonal condition. Meaning, any action that deviates from how your body is supposed to be can take your hormones out for a spin and activate your PCOS. You may never be able to overcome the disease, but you can learn how to cope with it.

Worries Of A PCOS Patient

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Seeing me for the first time may indicate how bubbly I am as a person. I smile and laugh easily; I am extremely chill to be with as well. However, you should believe that like most people, I can hide my problems behind the broad smiles and loud laughs I give.

In truth, I was diagnosed with the polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) when I was 19 years old. The layman explanation for this condition is that watery cysts engulf the ovaries, preventing the eggs from coming out. The result is that the menstruation becomes delayed for months.

I read online from Joann P. Galst Ph.D. that: “PCOS, a common cause of female infertility, is a hormonal disorder in which cysts form on the ovaries (unfertilized eggs). The condition can cause women’s bodies to produce excess male hormones and not provide a woman’s body with enough female hormones for the eggs in her ovaries to mature, thus interfering with ovulation. Symptoms of this hormonal disorder may manifest as excessive growth of body hair, acne, weight gain, and irregular periods.”

I have been keeping in touch with my OB-GYN ever since I learned about my PCOS. She checks on me every month and makes sure that I am getting my periods regularly. Despite that, from the day I found out about it up to now, I can’t shake off a few worries.

Can I Get Pregnant?

My biggest concern is my capability to conceive a baby and carry it to full-term. Although I am not a doctor, I am aware of the basic idea that menstruating each month increases my chances of being a mom. The blood entails that at least one egg drops from the ovaries, albeit unfertilized. So, there is no barrier for the sperm cells if ever I am ready to bear a child.

As mentioned above, however, having polycystic ovary syndrome makes the cycle unstable. Sometimes it is regular; other times, it skips. That is why it feels bothersome to ensure that I can become a mom in time.

 

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When Can I Mind My Lifestyle Less?

It seems typical for every individual to want to let loose and do everything guilt-free. If you want to drink soda all day long, you can do it. In case you binge-watch on Netflix till morning and only eat junk foods, no one will scold you.

The thing is, I have not been able to do any of that since the diagnosis. After all, the OB-GYN has had a great sense that the PCOS came about because all I used to eat are junk foods. Not to mention, I barely slept due to work.

I know that being mindful of my lifestyle can regularize my cycle, but I still miss the old, PCOS-free days.

Will My PCOS Go Away?

The question seems pointless, considering polycystic ovarian syndrome is one of the illnesses that scientists still don’t know much about. As a patient, though, I can’t help but wonder if it will ever happen.

PCOS is not as life-threatening as cancer or diabetes – that’s true. It does not come with debilitating symptoms either. Still, it is difficult to carry a disease that can prevent you from reaching the full circle.

“The key take home messages are that while lifestyle management is the first and most important step in the management of PCOS, addition of metformin to lifestyle modification appears to provide additional advantages in improving BMI and menstrual cyclicity in the medium term,” says Helena Teede MBBS, PhD, FRACP.

Final Thoughts

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Learning that you have a condition that science cannot understand or help you get rid of can be frustrating. That is precisely the case when it affects your ability to get pregnant. Nevertheless, if you devote yourself to the various treatment options that your doctor may present to you, nothing is impossible. “The most common treatment for PCOS is the birth control pill, which lowers testosterone in a woman’s body. Diet and exercise are also recommended. PCOS is associated with diabetes and obesity, and can result in making it difficult to conceive,” according to Paul Joannides Psy.D.

Good luck!

How To Cope With Fertility Issues

Research in psychology shows that stress experienced by women after learning about their infertility is similar to the feeling of women experiencing serious physical illnesses. Infertility is a difficult situation to be in. Entirely accepting it is even harder, as the situation itself seems ridiculous to most would-be mothers.

In fact, why would they believe that they’re infertile? Every woman can reproduce and bear offspring, right?

Sadly, science, numerous research, and women like you prove the contrary. Infertility is a real and serious situation women go through. It results in confusion, refusal to admit to the condition, and incomprehension. In most cases, women can feel sad for long periods, feel their self-esteem plummet, and in extreme cases, develop illnesses related to depression and anxiety.

What Is Infertility?

 

Infertility is the inability to get pregnant. Studies show that ten to 15 percent of paired partners in the country are unable to produce a child. These numbers indicate that you are not alone in your journey, and other women and pairs out there are suffering from the devastating news of not being able to carry a child either.

Infertility is usual in women age 35 and over, with irregular menstrual cycles, and have had miscarriages before. Causes of infertility might be ovulation disorders, uterine or cervical problems, damage or blockage on fallopian tubes, endometriosis, pelvic adhesions, and primary ovarian insufficiency. Cancer and its respective treatments can also affect fertility, as well as other medical conditions that are associated with delayed puberty and irregular cycles.

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How Do You Cope With Infertility?

“My life felt meaningless. My infertility—something of which I had no control—was labeled a personal defect. I punished myself with critical self-talk and judgment,” says Jamie Long PsyD about her personal feelings about her infertility.

Knowing that you’re infertile not only affects your perception of yourself but your relationship with your partner as well, especially if having children were a large part of your plan. Remember though, that it is not your fault if you’re unable to bear a child. A lot of different factors cause infertility in women, some of these even for unknown reasons.

It’s normal to undergo all the five stages of grief, and it’s also reasonable to feel sad for weeks after learning of the news. Infertility is usually a condition that lasts throughout your life, where you have little to absolutely no chance of producing offspring at all.

Here’s how you can cope with the news of your infertility:

  1. Identify and accept all of your feelings.

“The couple has to accept that their path to pregnancy will be complicated and more mechanical than they might have hoped for, giving each other permission to talk about it and express their disappointment without false reassurances from the other in order to stay connected,” says Laurie J Watson LMFT, LPC.

Allow yourself to grieve and be sad about the news. Don’t bottle up all of your emotions, nor deny yourself of the chance to be vulnerable. Forget all of the expectations you have and focus on your feelings, let yourself brood, and accept what has happened to you. This is your reality, and it is something people also usually go through. It’s not okay, but you will be, eventually.

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  1. Gather support.

During this critical time, it’s essential you only surround yourself with people who sympathize and understand your situation. You need the support of your spouse the most, too. Talk to him and discuss your pain, and what you want to do.

People who are not helpful in your recovery should be forgotten and set aside, as these are detrimental to your growth. Having a support system helps you get through darker days. Knowing that people who love you and care for you are waiting for you to get better and supporting you every step of the way will improve your mood and lead to your steady recovery.

  1. Write your feelings down when it gets too much.

Of course, there will be times when you experience regression. As always, allow yourself to be sad. Bottling up your emotions won’t improve your mood. You can try writing your feelings daily, like in a diary or a journal. Writing your feelings allows you to see your emotions from a detached perspective; you can review your thoughts, and understand how or why you felt like that and what you can do to help yourself recover.

  1. Ignore the social stigma and focus on your betterment.

Take a break from social media, and away from people who comment badly on your condition. They don’t know or understand what you’re going through, so their negative comments should have no bearing on your mind.

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  1. Consider counseling and therapy.

“The good news is that support, counseling, and self-reflection can all help to alleviate negative self-perceptions related to infertility,” says Abbie Goldberg Ph.D.

If you begin experiencing signs of depression or anxiety, consider getting help with counseling or therapy right away. Don’t let your mental condition remain stagnant and get help right away.

Remember, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, sad, and pain at the news. But you should not forget that there’s a life outside of this too, that you can still have a family in non-conventional ways, and that it is possible to move on from this devastating news.

When Adoption Is The Option

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Not all of us will have the privilege to a child of our own as this world can sometimes be unfair. Those who do not want to have a baby get the chance of having one, and unfortunately, these women think it is their right to take away a life that they opt for abortion. If this world would be kinder enough to those who genuinely deserve to be a mother, no woman will be secretly weeping in frustration for not having a baby to tuck in at night.

 

If there’s such thing as worst frustration, it would be not having a child of our own, especially for us, women. It is our essence to become a mom, and when fate is cruel, we don’t get to fulfill our purpose, but then who says we can’t. Being a mother is not just having to conceive. It is more on what we are naturally, and women are nurturers. They can turn things lovely and pure that’s why women should not let science tell them they could not be a mom.

 

 

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What Adoption Means:

 

 

  • Adoption does not make you less of a mother, and it does not make the child you raise less of a person deserving of love and care. He may not be from you, but you are intertwined for a reason, and there’s no limit to being a mom. Women are born to be one, even when physically couldn’t.

 

  • Adoption can make you wonder how it would be like to have a little angel who came inside you, but having to be a mother to someone who didn’t will make your heart bigger because you are capable of loving someone born from another.

 

  • Adoption makes everything more meaningful because the fact that you want to have a baby out of your desire to have one is enough to say that you are going to be the best mom. You opt for adoption because you want to be a mother, not because life made you.

 

  • Adoption is not a hopeless Once you made the decision, you will realize that it may indeed be the source of hope. It could make your life more meaningful that you would understand why things didn’t work out the way you planned them.

 

  • Adoption doesn’t make the child love you less, and that is for sure. There will always be a feeling of gratitude because he knows that you could go on with your life not having him, but you chose him, and that will always be something special.

 

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Not all of us will be blessed to become a biological mother indeed, but we are all capable of loving like one. Our body may hinder us, but there is nothing more important than to have the heart of a mother. It doesn’t matter if the child came from us or not. It is what we can do for him in the real world which is outside of the womb. After all, motherhood is not just being pregnant. It is about what we can do after the nine months.