A lot of things can happen in your life that will make you feel like the whole or entire world has turned its back on you. During these moments, it is completely okay to cry and let your emotions out. Sometimes, doing such a thing is the only way to keep your sanity. Keep in mind that experiencing difficulties and extreme challenges can be traumatic on your part. “No one said that being a mother was an easy job. Its quite simply the hardest job around,” Michele L. Brennan, Psy.D. said.
In this article, we are going to primarily focus on how to survive emotional abandonment during your pregnancy. What can you do when your hopes of creating a family of your own have become impossible?
Think Of The Baby First
When you are suffering from an emotional trauma caused by rejection from the father of your child, it is possible that you will lose yourself. Unfortunately, it can also give rise to certain thoughts about giving up. What you need to do is to remind yourself that you are going to become a mother soon. It means that your responsibility is not only with yourself but also with your upcoming baby. Do not let your ex-lover make you think that you deserve to be lonely. Instead, embrace your pregnancy.
Emotional trauma is hard to overcome, but then again, Susanne Babbel MFT, PhD says “But how do you actually overcome helplessness, find meaning in life, gain optimism, and learn new perspectives?” even after this terrible ordeal in your life? She says that you should write a list of the things you love doing, what you want to achieve, and your life goals, among other things.
Learn How To Forgive
At this point, it is vital to discuss the fact that keeping a grudge within you can pose some danger or risks to your health and that of your baby. As such, it is best if you will just let go of what happened and move on from the painful experience. Just because the father of your child is not responsible does not mean that you can do the same. What is essential is to keep your head held high. Forgive your former partner so that you can truly move forward to better tomorrows.
Cut Communication Lines
Never beg someone to stay in your life if it is obvious that he does not want to do such a thing. Therefore, you have to entertain the idea of cutting or terminating the communication ties between you and the father of your beloved kid. Keep in mind that the more you establish a connection with him, the more stressful it would be on your part. If it continues to happen, there is a high chance that you will be stressed throughout your pregnancy.
Confide To Someone
Never make the mistake of keeping all your worries to yourself. Feel free to open up to someone whom you can trust. In so doing, you are somehow making a way to feel relieved about the situation. Do not forget that life is difficult if you do not have someone to talk to. The step that you need to take is to look for a true friend who will never reveal your secrets. With this person, you can let your guards down because there is a guarantee that he will support you.
Ask For Help
Another essential thing that you must keep in mind is never to feel embarrassed to ask for help from the people surrounding you. Take note that many things to take care of when it comes to getting pregnant. Hence, you must acknowledge the reality that you need to ask for help from the right individuals in your life. Call a close friend or a family member who can assist you in your pregnancy needs. Never send them away because of having a high pride.
Consult With A Doctor
Feeling in pain because of the abandonment is not enough reason to miss your medical checkups. Do not forget that you have to see your doctor on a regular basis to check if your baby is safe. At the same time, it is also significant so that you will have an idea about your pregnancy. Remember that your pregnancy may be complicated, which is why there is a great necessity to get the regular pre-natal examinations. Trust the doctor that he will do everything he can to protect himself.
Keep Yourself Busy
“A 2018 study conducted by researchers at Mass General and Yale University shows that even brief amounts of meditation benefits cognitive performance and attention,” says Dr. Jamie Long PsyD. This is how she keeps herself busy.
Cliché as it may sound but the secret to overcoming the depression and grief brought by emotional abandonment is to keep yourself busy. Look for the things that you are passionate about and pursue your dreams. For example, you can spend most of your time reading about motherhood so that you can be confident in raising a child of your own in the next future. Another excellent idea is to attend workshops or seminars that will teach you a new skill. Do something that will spark joy in your life because you deserve it.
Always put in mind that you are capable of surviving this journey without a lover or partner beside you. Trust in the love and support that others are willing to give you. Let them offer their help so that you can save yourself from sinking to the rock bottom. You can still turn your life around. Believe in what you can do and accomplish.