One of the primary concerns of married couples is raising a family of their own. Most couples want to have children as they progress in life together. However, there are also some who prefer not to have babies at all. If you are one of the individuals who want to have kids in the future, then it is crucial that you understand the significance of infertility in every marriage. Unfortunately, there are some instances wherein women are incapable of giving birth or experience difficulty in getting pregnant. On the other hand, there are also some men who have problems concerning this area.
Jamie Long PsyD has the same problem, and she said: “It’s been five years since I learned of my own infertility. The diagnosis that makes it all but impossible to conceive (Premature Ovarian Failure), came after eight months of trying to start our family. The news that I ran out of eggs before I was ready to bear a child was the most dumbfounding and heart-wrenching reality of my life. When acquaintances, extended family, and strangers asked me when I’d have children, I could barely muster a response more than a shoulder shrug.”
At this point, it is essential to highlight the fact that infertility is a medical condition that can bring too much stress and anxiety to married couples. It can make people doubt about themselves to the point that having low-self esteem becomes possible. Luckily, there are some ways on how you can reduce these negative emotions.
“Experiencing negative emotions can result in more than “hating everybody and everything.” Negative moods can impair our associative memory, alter our judgments of others by making us more prone to stereotyping and forming less favorable impressions, and even lead us to feel more pain. Negative emotions, it seems, may also make us more distrustful,” says Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D.
Here are some ideas on how you could fight the negativity that infertility brings in your life as a married person:
- Share Your Issues With The Other Spouse. The problem of infertility is something that you must not keep within you. Remember that you have a partner whom you can open up about your issues. Avoid dealing with fears on your own. The more you discuss sensitive topics about infertility to your husband, the better you will be in handling this personal concern.
- Express Your Feelings. As much as possible, try to release all the hard feelings or emotions inside you. Give yourself a chance to cry and to be angry about the situation. However, this does not mean that you have to stay that way for a long time. Take note that addressing your issues is essential so that you can immediately cope.
- Hang Out With Friends And Loved Ones. Do not keep yourself a prisoner of your own home. While it is recommended to talk to your husband constantly, it is also great if you spend time with some friends or loved ones. Go on a coffee date with your college best friends or have dinner plans with your mom. Go out there and reconnect with others.
- Develop A Deeper Connection With Your Partner. This is where you have to establish a more intimate relationship with your husband. It does not only refer to the sensual aspects of the marriage but even on the non-sexual aspects. Never let the issue on fertility take a toll on the marital union. When this happens, you and the other spouse may be in danger of getting a divorce.
You two can go to counseling. “It takes courage and strength to seek therapy. It is something that should be celebrated and honored, because it is such an important act of self-care at the most fundamental level of health and wellness,” says therapist Eric Hotchandani.
Having a child is important in every marriage. Just because you are infertile does not mean that your dream of building a family of your own is over. There are still other available options that you can try such as adoption or other medical procedures. Keep yourself informed at all times. Do not give up or lose hope. As long as you have a husband to spend your life with, everything is going to feel better soon.