“Suicidal thoughts can be shorthand for “I feel ashamed, alone, helpless, depressed, guilty, angry, hopeless, and fearful.” Suicidal thoughts can remind people that they are in ultimate control of their lives during times when they feel out of control and scared,” says Melissa Welby M.D.
The rate of suicide has skyrocketed in the past few years. Many people decide to cut their own lives. They are the ones who have lost hope and faith. These are the same persons who were not able to get the right help they need when they were struggling with depression and other mental health problems. No one was able to remind them that life is worth living and that they can survive it all.
Now that you are aware of this fact, it is essential that you know how to help those who are having suicidal thoughts. Do not choose the kind of people to help, even if that individual is your ex-husband.
Here are the tips on how you could reach out to a former lover who is threatening to commit suicide:
Understand The Situation
Divorce is painful, and it causes a lot of stress to the parties involved. “Divorce can be a devastating experience for the adults who are splitting as well as their children. But it can be an empowering, and sometimes even life-saving, choice when the alternative of staying in the marriage is even worse,” says Bella DePaulo Ph.D.
Consider yourself lucky if you were able to overcome the negative emotions caused by the separation. However, you need to remind yourself that each individual has different ways on how to cope up with a broken relationship. Your former spouse may not be as good as you when it comes to handling the divorce, which is why you have to become more understanding.
Stop Shutting Him Away
There is a reason why you have decided to end the marriage. You do not want to be around your ex-husband anymore. This is only a natural consequence of the separation but if the other person is having suicidal thoughts, then maybe it is time to stop shutting him down. Keep in mind that the last thing he wants to receive is rejection from the same person who broke his heart. You do not need to be there for him all the time. What you have to do is to make yourself available in such a way that he will stop thinking about suicide. Nonetheless, avoid giving him the wrong signals. Never let him think that you are interested in reuniting.
“You want to let go and forgive – Holding a grudge isn’t a diagnosable condition, but it does have serious physical, emotional, and relational consequences. Through therapy, you can learn to resolve these issues for yourself and move on,” says Ryan Howes PhD, ABPP.
If you believe that the situation has become worse, do not hesitate to get in touch with some friends or family members. Let them know about what is happening in the life of your ex-husband. Inform them about the constant suicidal thoughts that your ex-have. You can also look for the best psychiatrist or therapist in your local community. Motivate your former spouse to cooperate with the professional. Inspire him to become a better version of himself.
The process of helping an ex is challenging and can place you in an awkward situation. However, you have no other choice but to do all the things mentioned above. Even if you no longer love your ex, it is still crucial that you help him prevent himself from committing suicide. It is your responsibility to help him overcome the suicidal thoughts brought by divorce or separation. Otherwise, you will end up blaming yourself for whatever may happen.